The Great War

From childhood, I've been reading, in the bible, in comic books, in novels, in songs, in video games, in movies, and television, that I should prepare for and fight in a great war between good and evil.  To be honest, the idea thrilled me.  I prepared and waited, ready to spring.

But, I never encountered anyone or anything that was evil.  Everything and every one had another side to whatever they were doing.  The great war between good and evil, turned out to be a war between what is good and what is evil.  Everyone thinks they're on the side of good, and anyone who opposes them is evil.

There actually are works that tried to prepare me for this.  Books like The Watchmen, V For Vendetta, and sometimes Punisher, but those came fairly late in my comic book reading cycle.  The Greeks sometimes addressed these issues.  Stories like the moral dilemma of Electra or Philoctetes fascinated me, even though I never really faced those issues.  

I depend on the bible a lot; it's my cultural mythology, but between the first word and the last word is a span of as many as a thousand years, so the bible often has conflicting and contradictory points of view on issues.   I have issues with the first parts of the Bible, written by Levite priests but attributed in antiquity to Moses, even though I'm convinced Moses never wrote a word himself, and it's unlikely Aaron did for him.  The commandments, I'm convinced, were an entirely oral tradition for hundreds of years before anyone wrote them down; that's why there are sometimes differences in their order and wording.  

Instead, I focus on the words of Jesus.  Not the words of Paul, or the words of Jerry Fallwell, or the words of Pat Robertson, but the words Jesus himself said.  While Jesus himself never spoke to some of the issues, we have today, like abortion or gay rights, or gun control, the words he did say were general and wise enough to guide me in forming a position.  That's the problem, though; they guide ME, and someone else may read the same words and come to a completely different position.

There is a great battle coming, and it is over good and evil, but the greatest trick Satan ever did was making both sides believe they stand for good.  You never had that problem with Orcs or Sentinals.  In the end, this great mind full of words cannot guide me.  I have to go with heart, and that's a gift from the women of my childhood.  

We may meet.  We may cross swords in battle, a battle of good and evil.  I will still love you, but I fight for the good of the world and the oppressed and the wounded and the ostracized as Jesus taught me to, as Jesus did himself.   I'm in the battle to win.  Not for me; I'm old and have no real needs.  I'm in it for them because they have my heart, and they deserve a life of light and days without pain.